Cuss Your Way to a Smarter You!

(Author’s Note: This post is for adults only. You have been warned! (and now you want to read it even more, don’t you?)
I was rooting through my posts at
wayneordinaryamerican.blogspot.com
and I noticed that I never really addressed the issue of what it’s like for an American living in Northern Ireland. Also, I didn’t cuss near as [...]

We’re All A Little Bit Crazy

My wife wants to start her own blog (no, the pic above has nothing to do with anything. I just like pictures. Pretty pictures! Huh-huh-huh!).
I want to help her. I truly do. But apparently, I’m useless at helping her come up with a name for her info-portal into the intra-tubulars.
Witness the following word for word [...]

So Intentional, It’s Scary!

I love this movie. LOVE IT!!
And I’m loving this poster. Why? Well, I work with graphic designers and I guarantee you that the not-so-subconscious allusion to what’s-her-face giving Jack a hand-job is VERY intentional.
(I would have loved to have been in the meeting where the design studio presented this to the obviously chaste [...]

Phwoar!!!

Today, I smelled of soup. (Yes, I said ’soup’. As in Campbell’s. Not ’soap’ as in Lye.)
I woke up, got in the shower, turned on the hot water and low-n-behold the stench that rose from the steam was enough to make me sick. But the smell was coming from moi. Little ol’ moi.
Back-story:
My wife is [...]

Wish in One Hand…

…shit in the other and see which one fills up first.
This is the part where I bitch and moan and say things like, “Garsh! I’m just a big windbag o’ whining! Guh-ya, guh-ya!’
So since that’s what you’re expecting (admit it. You were) I’m going to zig instead of zag and roll out a whole barrel [...]

Hairy Toes? Well, Maybe Not…

I think this is a better picture than the one of my hairy toe that I was originally going to post. (Am I the only person in the world who HAS to take his socks and shoes off IMMEDIATELY when he comes home at night because his toe hair gets all tangled up in his [...]

You know what I’m saying?

Today (Friday), I took the day off.
It wasn’t a holiday, nobody died, my puppy didn’t run away, I didn’t need to ‘find myself’.
There was no reason that I should take the day off except that if I didn’t I think I seriously might have done something drastic.
I try to entertain here but lately my ???????? [...]

Be afraid. Be sort of afraid…

 

Holy Bejeeeeeeeebus!

Hey kids.
Sorry.
I’m tired.
(Long hours at work with no thanks. That’s the world for ya. Give your best, get a deragatory email in your in-box. Contemplate suicide. God bless us, one and all…)
I’ll be shakin’ and updatin’ and informatin’ soon.
Right after I get a decent night’s sleep.
Ha ha ha ha!
We all know that ain’t gonna happen!
So, [...]

Google Thinks I’m a Gay Frenchy

It’s been one of those days. (Which should never ever happen on a Saturday. Saturdays are MINE. MINE I TELLS YA! )
I downloaded the so-called “CRITICAL UPDATES” from those spunk-suckin’ monopolists at Microsoft (motto: “We control your life so you don’t have to!”) because, if I didn’t, I would have sacrificed the rest of my [...]