I’m Still Here…

Hi all!
Yep. It’s me. How the hell are ya?
Sorry about my chronic laziness but I seemed to have taken an unexpected turn into the real world (which is a place I pretty much don’t like. Reality? Bah!).
However, I see light at the end of the tunnel and it looks warm and fuzzy. Oh, wait. I’ve [...]

Adults Only

Today I had the unique, some might say joyous (well, I wouldn’t say it- I didn’t exactly hire a choir to sing praises to the heavens or anything) experience of visiting a U.K. doctor for the very first time.
I went, not because I had once again managed to slice open a major type appendage with [...]

I Promised Myself That I Wouldn’t Do This

They say that there’s nothing more boring than watching paint dry.
I disagree.
Someone writing about paint drying has got to be more boring-er.
So I’ll save you that misery.
Instead, witness the comedic stylings of…
Fuck it. Who am I kidding? Nobody, that’s who.
Listen, we (meaning my wife and I) have spent a lot of time working on our [...]

You Can Buy Anything At Murphy’s

Because I was such a good little soldier last Saturday and went into work, I was given the day off. (This day. Friday. Yes, I know that it’s now Saturday but I wrote this yesterday. Friday. But I published it today. Saturday. You follow? Good.)
That suited me right down to the ground. Not that I [...]

Welcome to the House of Wayne

Well, we got the key to our new flat this week.
Have I mentioned this? I think I might have. Did I? I can’t remember.
Anyway– we did. We got the key. It was like magic. Well, not like magic. It was like somebody handing us a key.
Only I wasn’t there.
My wife picked it up on her [...]

Ted Haggard– May You Rot in Hell

I don’t like to get political (faithful reader(s) know this) because my anger usually gets the best of me and I sound all unreasonable and shit.
But this fucktard Ted Haggard is the epitome of why I think poor Jesus is spinning in his grave.
I was raised to believe in the so-called “Christian” bullshit way [...]

My Glorious Fantabulous Totally TOTALLY Perfect Sunday!

I’m here to tell ya that this day was so…ah screw it.
I got nothing…
Except this picture of our incredibly sad Christmas tree (fake, of course (the tree, not the pic (the pic is real (if you consider digital a “real” format))) from last year.

It somehow sums up my feelings at the moment.
It probably has something [...]

Bachin’ it Part 4X4

Well.
The wife’s back in the ‘hood’ tomorrow and I was supposed to pick her up at the airport but that just ain’t gonna happen.
Turns out that the rest of world is completely oblivious to the sheer tonnage of incredibly important advertising work that needs to be done tomorrow (and probably Sunday. And maybe early Monday, [...]

Bachin’ it Part the Three

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Today’s healthy menu of Day Three Bachelorhood consisted of the following:
Breakfast

Two raw eggs drunk from the same glass that had previously held my effervescent vitamins.
V-8
Antacid tablets (too much “gravy”)

Lunch:

Cowboy Supper (consisting of (for my American readers) chips (french fries), beans (think “Pork-n-Beans”), and two sausages (“sausages”))

Dinner:

Frozen pepparoni pepperomi pizza.

I am now going to [...]

Bachin’ it Part Deux

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Home Alone Day 2
Wow.
I could totally get used to living the Single Alpha Male Lifestyle.
It rocks!
Oh sure, last night I got bored of being alone at approximately 7:30 p.m. but that was a fluke. It was nothing that lying in bed with the lights off with my iPod earbuds jammed into my acoustic [...]