How to Kill Your Brain

Today provided me the rare opportunity to sit upright, roll up my sleeves and give my full attention to the mess that has accumulated on my hard drive at work (and, by default, the server- which gives our Pseudo IT Guy the unique opportunity to sift through everybody's emails from the comfort of his corner office instead of sneaking in early or staying late and hacking into individual computers with the Admin password.).

Between my Inbox, Sent Items and Deleted Items I had something like 4,000 various pieces of useless crap that needed to go. Normally, I'm a "Fire Sale" type o' guy ("Everything Goes!") but since some of the emails are relatively current, I couldn't just "Select All" and "Delete". This meant 2 hours of tedious clicking/deleting from my Inbox and Sent Items alone and then I had to do it all over again because my settings (Thanks Pseudo IT Guy!) require that after I delete something it goes to the Deleted Items folder (naturally) where I have to delete them all over again.

Again, I didn't want to just nuke the whole thing because I've secretly hidden a few important personal emails amongst the inane "Hi gang, just nipping out to the chippy for a pastie and some fags! BRB!!!!!!" ilk. (I'm convinced these notes are code for something they don't want me to know about—like secret drinking sessions or home appliance shopping.)

I have never experienced such a mind-numbing chore in my life. And it wasn't helped by the fact that, every time I clicked to delete, a warning box flew up asking me to confirm that I really, truly, from the bottom of my heart wanted to delete the selected email.

After about 20 minutes of this I realized that if I held the Ctrl button down I could click as many files as I wanted and then would only have to click the confirmation box once. Sweet! So I went through, highlighting the ones I wanted rid of and continued clicking, clicking, clicking until…

(Now some of you may know where this is headed. I realize this has been a very tedious post about a whole lot of nothing but it's important that you understand how incredibly bored I am at the moment. Very. I'm VERY bored.)  

…that's right, I accidentally clicked something in a wrong, perhaps offensive, manner and all the highlighted emails duplicated themselves, leaving me with roughly 8,600 deleted items sitting in my so-called Deleted Items folder.

I couldn't face going through it again so everything was nuked and now I'm left without a couple of incredibly useful emails that I had hidden away for a rainy day. I hope that somewhere down the line, I will retrieve this information but in the meantime I'm going to set about hacking the Pseudo IT Guy's computer.

He's probably got copies somewhere.



  1. Link has been fixed on my end.

    I’ll be watching your wordpress exploits. I might move there myself sometime.

  2. Thanks for updating Steve.

  3. I used to delete most of my emails on a regular basis – then I deleted an important email and would up getting sued over it. (Meaning, retaining that email, which I thought held no importance, would have eliminated much sleepless evenings had I kept it)

    Now, I find it difficult to delete them, no matter how benign they appear.

  4. I worried about that too, Phil. But then, since I hold no post of any importance, I figured I could get away with the old shoulder slump and, “I dunno” response for at least the next month or two. Also, we just upgraded our server at work and our emails were/are completely jacked up for a good week or so. I’m thinking I’m ok…this time…

  5. Thanks for your post, i really had some trouble with finding the right information but you have helped me great

    Thank you


    Thank you

    Japie Bruinst

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