Screw it

Today several things crossed my mind.

This is quite unusual.

I’m not a heavy thinking kind of guy. Of course, I do work in the ‘Creative’ industry so I am thinking pretty hard most of the day. (It takes skillz to sell da shoppin’ centers-ya know what I’m sayin’, peeps?)

It’s my down time where I’m either thinking of nothing special (“IS Britney going to dump K-Fed or what?”) or I’m thinking especially of nothing (which is something I have trouble convincing my wife that I’m capable of. Apparently, women are constantly following threads of thought from one thing to the other while men have the gift of tuning their minds to a non-broadcast station and just enjoy the white noise.).

My point is, over the last year or so I’ve realized a couple of things about myself.

  1. I’m slightly obsessive compulsive. I won’t step on cracks (lookin’ out for mom), I dress in a certain way, in a certain order, at a certain time of morning and I’m COMPLETELY anal about getting to the train station early even though I know from experience that it’s never on time.
  2. I have a tendency to be a bit manic-depressive.  For the last two months I decided to self-medicate and started taking St. John’s Wart. At first I found it soothing to be in a constant state of “meh…” but soon learned that I missed the manic phase where I had abnormal amounts of energy and actually enjoyed speaking to my co-workers, friends and family. (I’m off that stuff now and I’m thinking that it was  affecting my short term memory. Seriously. It’s much better now that I’ve stopped taking it. And that weird eye twitch I’ve had for 2 months has gone away.)
  3. I’m going bald.

I think out of the proceeding 3 items it’s the ‘Going Bald’ thing that took me the most by surprise. I mean, a bald man is the first to know what’s going on. No amount of self-denial will convince my fellow shedders that the ‘dandruff’ we’re experiencing after having burnt our noggins in the sun is because our shampoo has let us down.

It’s just that I always thought I’d have some decent coverage–and I didn’t think it would move from my head to my back and shoulders. (Both of my brothers still have full heads of hair! I got screwed. Damn genetics.)

Anyway, there’s no point to any of this. I’m just trying to clear the cobwebs from the last two months of over-the-counter “happiness”.

Screw being normal.

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4 Comments

  1. Yeah, I hear ya on the whole St. Johns Wart fiasco. I had a doc ask me one time if I was interested in taking “drool Medicine”, and I said, “Nah, I like being happy, mad, sad, and glad”.

    It takes a true man to face his genetics, and psychological problems head on. Glad to hear you are off the Wart glue. 🙂

  2. Well Wayne, all of the above are my problems too, even the hair loss though I’m pretty sure it’s from stress. I tried the Wart too, and it gave me terrible stomach aches. Though I self medicate in multiple ways I have thought about taking L-Carnatine but I fear pill popping.(Funny how I have no fear of cigarettes and alcohol). Manic behavior is ok, but I do prefer solid ground. No easy answers here.

  3. Pharmecuitcal products are so overrated in the happiness realm. Just my opinion from personal experience.

  4. I am happy to say that I am now feeling happy. Numbness is only good for going to the dentist.


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