So… This Is How This Stuff Gets Out of Hand



(Nothern Ireland August 4, 2006)

We’re still in the process of buying the flat.

Neither of us is sure, exactly, what’s going on.

Are we supposed to call people to make sure they’re pulling their weight? Have the lawyers done the thing that they’re supposed to be doing (whatever that law thingy is)? Should we be doing something? Anything? What SHOULD WE BE DOING????

The flat that we’ve (hopefully) bought needs some serious work. Floors, kitchen, carpets, bathroom– they all need serious attention and hemorrhaging of my wallet. But the silver lining (in my mind) is that there is a quiet, lonely, neglected room just off the main lounge that is just crying out to be the computer room.

I have always told my lovely, adorable wife that, no matter what we finally ended up buying, she could do whatever she wanted to the rest of the house as long as I was given just one (only ONE) room to do whatever I wanted to do with it.

Hellooooooo computer room.

(You women out there already know where this is heading so, if you want, you can retire to the family room and laugh over your beers or needlepoint or whatever. You know what’s coming and…I hate you.)

Goodbye computer room.

This is the conversation I had this afternoon with my wife as we were looking for flooring/carpeting/home goods.

HER: What do think about this for the lounge?

ME: Whatever…

HER: And this for the wallpaper?

ME: Kick ass… Say, I was thinking that, since the computer room is mine, I would paint the walls black and find some cool Guns ‘n’ Roses posters and…

HER: What?

ME: Well, maybe not black but I could probably find some cool prints of Weezer and…

HER: Seriously…what?

ME: Well, *blushing* obviously since the computer room is right off the lounge then the floor should match and…I suppose the walls should match…and the decor should add something to the rest of the place and…well, really…I don’t mind. What do you think we should do with the computer room?



I look at life this way…

In a hundred years we’ll all be dead and it won’t matter.

But the next year or two should be fun.



  1. awww, Don’t hate me. I’m crying in my beer over my needlepoint (snicker)

    Don’t worry, I have the perfect solution.

    If you vomit in there enough, she’ll eventually just stop coming in…you hope.


  2. If I vomit in there enough, I will stop going in there… and that would defeat my purpose. I still have time to work my wiley ways and get what I want. As soon as the wife tells me what that is.

  3. Wiley ways indeed. SNORT

    Women have the corner market on that – didn’t you know? (snicker)

    Fear not Wayne, begging is always an option. LOL

  4. Honestly Wayne, you need to catch up. A ‘computer room’ is so late-nineties gamer nerd style… you should ditch your beige box for something sleek (i.e. a Mac) and give it pride of place in the kitchen… on the worktop like a domestic appliance. That’s where the technology belongs. Then you can blog away while you do the dishes. Your wife will love that take on modern manhood…

    Oh, and ps, your move to WordPress encouraged me. I have made the switch.


  5. I agree w/ James in that it needs to be more than simply a “computer room”. You need a flat screen wall-mounted television w/ surround sound, a giant leather chair that allows you to use the bathroom in it and store alcoholic beverages, penthouse centerfolds tacked up on the walls, and a deadbolt lock.

  6. At least you realize you’ve lost. You’re ahead of most men. Just saying…

  7. I have merely temporarily relented on this one (I haven’t quite realized that I’ve lost). Instead I have moved forward to dreaming about my future shed in the backyard. I will win someday.

  8. Keep the faith, dude, keep the faith.

  9. Oh, the faith is there (I just have to keep it hidden from the wife until I prevail! Which I eventually will. Bwhahahahahahahahahahaha!)

  10. Come this February I’ll be fourteen years divorced. As I remember it it had something to do with me wanting a computer room.
    Now I have my computer room and my dog has his backyard and my girlfriend doesn’t quite get it but ya’ know……..

    Brian…Fashionably Late

  11. Oh, yea’ and I have a motorcycle too.

  12. Brian is living the dream…

  13. WHERE’S JETT!!!???!!!
    DAMN IT…….WHERE’S JETT!!!???!!!

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