Jett Loe Does a Runner (Jerk)

Jett does a runner

It’s been a crazy week.

(Before I go any further let me give you a quick update on my snoring problem–it’s still there. The nose strips definitely let me breathe better but unfortunately they create the horrible side effect of me gettting a fuller, richer lung-full of air in which to Rock the Casba in the snoring sense. I’m in the process of setting up an appointment with the NHS so it could be another 6 months or so before I get anything sorted out (but at least it’ll be free!). That should give me enough time to save money for an extra bed and/or divorce lawyer.)

Not only have I been suffering from an insufferable bout of insomnia but work has taken a work-like turn and I’m ‘up to my tits’ in…uhmmmm…well, work.

On top of that, Jett has decided to do a runner and has left me holding the proverbial bag (and it’s wet and moist and I’m not liking it so much…)

People, please believe me when I say I don’t know what the fuck is going on (this applies to work, life and Letter to America). I have tried email, landline, mobile, Skype and psychic outreach. And I got nothin’.

 

Like I said on

Letter to America:

“I don’t know where he is or when/if he’ll be back.”

If I hear anything, however, I will let you know.

(Oh, and I’m trying to boost my site traffic with Imogen Sex Tape, Mel Gibson Drunk, Israel, and Will Smith is gay. Have a good evening all…)

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19 Comments

  1. This is indeed disturbing.

    And I told you the strips wouldn’t work.

    Hezbollah!

    Starr Jones!

  2. Yes, Phil…you were right about the strips. Any helpful hints? (Do you sleep in the spare room? Has your wife ever punched you in the nuts to stop you from snoring? (not that that has ever happened to me…) Should I have my septum undeviated?)

    Also:
    Hungarian Grand Prix!
    Lance Armstrong!
    Tom Delay!
    American Idol!
    Star Trek!
    Why Can’t I Get Laid?

  3. Have you tried going round to the flat?

  4. Trust me, Andy…he’s not there. (Also, I can’t remember the code to get in the front door.)

  5. Hey Wayne,
    Sorry to post this but I don’t have an e-mail address for you. I know you are uber busy, but I was wondering if possible, you could delete my comments from the LTA “Jett’s Outa Here” post. At first I thought it was a funny, creative mystery and now it’s moving toward stalker frenzy and it’s not something I want to be a part of.

    I hereby decree that after I submit this comment I will turn off my computer and get a fucking life.

    Just for you: Tom Cruise! Katie Holms! Rubber Duckie!

  6. Jama,
    I can’t really do that because I don’t think Jett would want me tampering with the comments. Also, if someone turns stalker it won’t be because of something you or anybody else says–I wouldn’t worry about it.

  7. Paris Hilton sex tape!!!
    Cialis!!!
    Viagra!!!
    Will Ferrel’s home phone number!!!
    Where is Jett Loe!!!

    …thank should fool Google (hehehe)

  8. Dr Sholls corn removers!

    Tampax!

    Stayfree!

    PMS!

    Constipation!

    Those really cute shoes!

    Ovulation!

    Chocolate!

    If that doesn’t generate some site traffic – google can bite my ass.

  9. No Wayne – I have nothing. My problem seems to come and go. She used to sleep in the spare room when things got bad, but now that room is occupied with twins so that option is out for her. And I will avoid surgery at all costs (I hate doctors).

    Now, it seems not to be a problem for us – don’t know if it’s the lack of pollen, etc., that helps? We’ve also tried letter her go to sleep before me – which really doesnt work because she’s such a light sleeper to begin with.

    I wonder if the position of your head would help?

    Nudes!

    Nudes!

    Jessica Alba!

  10. Which reminds me – I dont think you said if you had allergies like me….while I have a pretty shitty septum, my nose reacts to pollen, dust which makes it worse. If you do, have you checked your air-filters lately?

    Maybe a good, allergen-free microfilter for the A/C unit would help?

    Tits

  11. I don’t really know if I have allergies per se… I’d probably call it hayfever. I grew up in a dry, dry, DRY environment where there wasn’t any pollen (tho I used to itch like crazy if I sat on the lawn for more than 2 minutes at a time).

    I’ve tried different positions and the only one that seems to work involves my wife, a pillow, and direct pressure.

    Air filters? A/C unit? I live in N. Ireland, man! We don’t even have A/C (or AirCon, as they call it here) in the office except in the bosses headquarters. Today’s high was a scorching 63 degrees.

    Boogers!

    Big Brother!

    Male circumcision!

    Boobs Knockers Headlights!

    Tiny Heed! (Oh just Google it)!

  12. Maybe that’s part of your problem then – you have nothing to filter the hair, dust, mites, germs, etc. that are constantly circulating in your flat. It’s a possibility, long dong silver.

  13. grease ass plugged
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    Well, that should help with the site traffic…but then again…..

  14. I can’t compete. Brian exhausted me. ~sighs~

  15. Now, #1 on Google and #1 in our hearts…..Wayne, Ordinary American.

    Good night.

  16. BTW, the LTA entry on Wikipedia becomes rapidly out of date, it’s time to start cracking a new project.

    Wayne, you’ve been wiki’d…!

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wayne_Ordinary_American

    Team, it’s time to invent some spurious and unverifiable falsities about our strange friend Wayne…

    *j*

  17. …oh yeah..I’ve got to find me one of those Jim Bakker emergency backpacks!

  18. I may be a little late for this, but I’ll add my entries…

    Jenna Bush nude
    Malibu hookers
    Pop Tart recipies

  19. You’re a tad late, Rev., but you made up for it with the Pop Tart reference. For some reason I found that really funny… (Have I mentioned that I’m suffering from terrible insomnia this week….?)


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