Google Thinks I’m a Gay Frenchy

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It’s been one of those days. (Which should never ever happen on a Saturday. Saturdays are MINE. MINE I TELLS YA! )

I downloaded the so-called “CRITICAL UPDATES” from those spunk-suckin’ monopolists at Microsoft (motto: “We control your life so you don’t have to!”) because, if I didn’t, I would have sacrificed the rest of my life to annoying “Automatic Update” messages bent on never letting me do anything ever again online unless I clicked the “Sell My Soul to the Devil” (also known as the “Accept” button) and let the scary jerks corrupt my computer in whatever way they needed to to let me use my ever increasing piece of shit PC on a day to day basis.

So I clicked.

Well, thank you very much whoever, whatever, wherever you are (Microsoft. Redmond, Washington) because you FORCED me to update Internet Explorer (which I NEVER EVER USE) and thereby fucked up damn near everything on my system.

After my “CRITICAL UPDATE”, Firefox (whom I love and cuddle and make out with on a regular basis) now believes that I am living somewhere in France.

And now:

My homepage is in French.

My options are in French.

EVERYTHING online is in French!

What happened?

I’m tired. I’m going to bed.

Microsoft?

Se casser.

(“Se casser” in French means “Fuck off.” If you Google translate this, however, it comes back as something like “to break” (but of course I used Google Language to translate “fuck off” to French. Who knows what’s right?). (I’m just letting you know. Because I care. And you’re my friend.)

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