Wish in One Hand…

…shit in the other and see which one fills up first.

This is the part where I bitch and moan and say things like, “Garsh! I’m just a big windbag o’ whining! Guh-ya, guh-ya!’

So since that’s what you’re expecting (admit it. You were) I’m going to zig instead of zag and roll out a whole barrel of monkey-fied mixed metaphors and simian similes! (Just like that!)

In other news, I’m feeling much better after a brief *ahem* breakdown. I have come to the conclusion that I pretty much hate everybody (well, I’ve known this for some time, but the first step is admitting you have a problem. (But then again, I don’t think it is a problem. It’s a fact. Can the essence of ‘A Fact’ actually be ‘A Problem’? (What would Jett Loe of Letter to America say? (New record! Four parenthetical phrases in one sentence!))))

And because it’s so obvious that I got nothing tonight in terms of actual content I’m going to take a moment to pat a few people on the back.

I will be the first to admit that I’m not too good at keeping up with all of the movers and shakers in the blogosphere but I do know that there are a growing number of people finding their way to mine from various sites and I thought I would return the favor by giving props to a couple of blogs that I link to and link to me and send me the most traffic (after LTA) and as a bonus, I’m gonna tell you why I like ’em. (In case you were counting that was an 88 word run-on sentence. Boy, you’re a bit anal retentive, aren’t you?)

Feel free to go about your life now if you’re bored but you’ll miss the surprise ending! (I’m just saying.)

I’m not going to hyperlink to any of these cuz they’re already listed on the right (no your right! Right there…no there!) and because I’m getting tired and can’t waste the needed clicks. (Work smarter, not harder. That’s my motto.)

First off:

Playaz Ball.

Funny story about this site. It was discovered by Jett when he was snooping around about me on the Innertubes after I signed up to be on the LTA podcast. He passed the link on to me and now I don’t know how I ever lived without it. It’s bizzarre, it’s insightful and more than anything it’s absolutely all true. (No, really. Follow it for a week or so and you’ll be ever so smarts and cool beaners. (Cool beaners…? WTF???)

Everybody Can Just Bite My Ass.

Seriously, I think the title says it all -everything except that it’s written by a sharp, smart mouthed woman who can be dead funny, poignant and sometimes a bit scary (these parts you’ll find out when you read it). Don’t mess with her.

My Big Fat F**king Head.

The Rev Steve will keep you up to date on just about everything. Sports, fast food, adventures in radio, you name it. He gets bonus points for his ‘Asshole of the Week’ segment and the fact that we are both ordained in the Church of Everlasting Unrefrigerated Fish Heads or something (I’m typing this in the dark and can’t read my high quality laser print out from here. *Squinting* ah yeah, the Universal Life Church. That’s it!)

Well, for not having much to say tonight I’ve sure written a butt load.

Please don’t be sad that I didn’t mention your site because I do read every one that I’m linked to. And if any of you know of some Must Read sites feel free to pass them my way. I’m always looking for gags to steal a good laugh.