Bachin’ it Part 4X4

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Well.

The wife’s back in the ‘hood’ tomorrow and I was supposed to pick her up at the airport but that just ain’t gonna happen.

Turns out that the rest of world is completely oblivious to the sheer tonnage of incredibly important advertising work that needs to be done tomorrow (and probably Sunday. And maybe early Monday, too. If you ask me advertising should be a 24/7 endeavor. Oh wait! It kinda is!).

Come on, people!

If it wasn’t for professionals like myself you wouldn’t know what to buy! You’d probably go around all day purchasing completely random shit– like food and life saving insulin. But with my help you now feel very emotive about your morning cereal, MP3 players and hemorrhoid creams. Thanks to me, you now connect with your ‘Snap Crackle and Pop’ rather than having a casual (some might say ‘slutty’) relationship- like you do with your cuff links.

You should be praising me, not pointing out that work is seemingly more important than seeing my wife (who (or possibly ‘whom’) I haven’t seen for nearly a week, even though she went because there’s a very serious family matter that she needed to attend to).

*Sigh*

What ever will I do with you?

You just don’t understand.

Luckily, my wife understands. Jeez, I’m glad she’s coming home.

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Bachin’ it Part the Three

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Today’s healthy menu of Day Three Bachelorhood consisted of the following:

Breakfast

  • Two raw eggs drunk from the same glass that had previously held my effervescent vitamins.
  • V-8
  • Antacid tablets (too much “gravy”)

Lunch:

  • Cowboy Supper (consisting of (for my American readers) chips (french fries), beans (think “Pork-n-Beans”), and two sausages (“sausages”))

Dinner:

  • Frozen pepparoni pepperomi pizza.

I am now going to lie down and count every minute until my wife comes home and cooks me a decent meal. ..and maybe do a load or two of laundry. (Meaning I will do the load or two. Of laundry. (Not what you’re thinking. (Pervert.) (Now look what you’ve done! You’ve made me use lots of parenthesis again! (Oh well. Whatever.)))

*This is a photo from Tollymore (or perhaps, Tullymore (I never pay attention to where I am)) where my wife and I go quite regularly because it’s close to home and there’s a kick ass ice-cream place not too far away.

Bachin’ it Part Deux

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Home Alone Day 2

Wow.

I could totally get used to living the Single Alpha Male Lifestyle.

It rocks!

Oh sure, last night I got bored of being alone at approximately 7:30 p.m. but that was a fluke. It was nothing that lying in bed with the lights off with my iPod earbuds jammed into my acoustic units for 5 1/2 hours couldn’t fix.

Having said that I am pleased to announce that tonight’s menu consisted of the following:

  • Steak (again)
  • Instant potatoes
  • Instant Gravy
  • Beer

The most ingenious part was when I made the instant potatoes with the instant gravy instead of boring old water. (Nothing says “Yummy!!!” like brown sort-of-beefy flavored salty reconstituted potato type flakes.)

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna drink the rest of the gravy (somebody has to) and watch something totally cool on TV that my wife would never want to watch.

Or, maybe I’ll go to bed and listen to the new playlist of 80’s New Wave tunes that I just made.

Whichever is cooler.

* Yet another pic from our trip to County Kerry. Just thought I’d throw it out there.