Self Fullfilling (sp?) Prophecy (sp?)

Today I had the grand honor of listening to my manager and the head ‘Account Director of Advertising That Will Blow You Away’ tell me that my personality is, in essence, a total vacuum on the spirit and energy of the studio in general and the company as a whole.

I was informed that the fact that I take a nap occasionally at lunchtime (on company sofas) was ‘sucking the life out of the studio’ (there was no regard paid to the fact that since I stare at a fucking monitor all day I might deserve a bit of an eye-rest at lunchtime– which, in essence is my own goddamn time.). That shit don’t stick, apparently.

I was told I’m not ‘energetic’ enough not ‘happy’ enough not full of enough ‘bullshit’ (my interpretation) to make everybody around me applaud and cheer every time I enter a room.

Well guess what asswipes, the reason I’m a writer is because I’m NOT good at the ‘press the flesh’ lifestyle.

I don’t kiss ass.

I don’t ‘rim’ the client.

I can’t fake a social orgasm and I don’t believe that my being ‘passionate’ about advertising is going to make a public service announcement sound any more important (it’s a goddamn radio ad you fucktwats!).

I learned to write as a way to express myself because I’m not so hot in the pressure cooker of social bullshit.

So now I’ m stuck between a job that I hate and having to pay a mortgage. I’m looking for work but I can’t decide if I should look for another copywriting gig. What if they’re all assholes? Does that mean I have to keep switching jobs? I gotta find something safe and secure.

I always think back to what my friend Bryan said once, “Don’t you think you should be excited about a new job? Especially on the first day?”

I’ve never been excited about this job. Not on the first day. Not ever.

I guess it’s time to leave.

But we all knew that.

Now it’s time to find something that I love.

I just hope it’s out there.

And on a seperate note… please vote for Letter to America and maybe even my own humble blog for the Irish Blog Awards. I mean, I might not have anything else to do in March.

(God I hate whoring myself out.)

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6 Comments

  1. social orgasm

    Very discriptive…..

    …and I had one of those jobs where everyone expects you to be bubbly and happy and oh so FAKE all of the time.

    I quit that job about 3 years ago. My supervisors were giving me a hard time about not being enthusiastic enough. I told them I don’t hit the bong before I go to work…they didn’t seem to appreciate it.

    Despite not going to rallys in the work place (yeah they had them….where they get you all pumped up and everyone puts their hand in the center and yells “goooooo TEAM” at the end) and telling a few of the air heads off that I worked with…I had the best sells record that department had. I was the best there….and now I make more money, doing the same thing…but I don’t have to worry about dumb shits being offended because I didn’t tell them “Good Morning”

    Good luck on your search…I hope you find what you’re looking for.

  2. Wayne, I feel your pain. I am in a job here in good ‘ole Belfast that requires me to get other people excited and involved in stuff that is happening and the toll it takes on my psyche is not worth it. It literally exhausts me having to be nice and smile and chat happily with people when I really can’t stand most people in general (and some of these specific ones not at all). It makes me drink when I finally get home at night. Alot. I tried to get a different job, failed and gave up. Now they are offering me a raise to stay here and take on additional bull-shitting responsibilities. The extra cash is already earmarked for a larger liquor cabinet. Jesus, I feel sorry for myself now – hey, you are a bit of a downer… Hope you find something new soon!

  3. dude i have been working with public for twenty years and ive learned many things( one being there quite a lot of fruitcakes running about), but the main thing is if someone above is giving you a hard time, its usually because their life has fucked up in some way and everybody loves to pass the buck.
    Good luck with the search, Its a pity LTA wasnt a paying gig.
    steve

  4. Wayne, you’ve got to do what ever makes you happy, even if it means changing jobs. Sometimes you have to make the best of a bad situation, until you can find something better.

    P.S.: I voted for your blog and LTA.

    Best
    jd

  5. I have nominated you, Wayne – do not fear, WOA will get it’s just rewards!

  6. Thanks for all the comments (and votes.It would be sweet to actually win something). I’ve come to terms with my situation and I really wasn’t trying to make a public cry for pity– I was just incredibly pissed off when I wrote this and…someone from work will probably find this and then…well…let’s not think anymore about this…


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