I’ve Become That Person You Hate

I carry an earth destroying ozone melting plastic supermarket bag in my pocket at all times to pick up dog shit.

I hide from the neighbors because my dog has pooped in their yard and I don’t want to pick it up because if they see me they’ll know my dog has pooped in their yard.

I constantly feel like I’ve got a pubic hair stuck in my throat (a throw back to my college days when I did things to get things. You know what I’m talking about. (wink wink)).

I get an extra hour of exercise/walking cuz somebody I know has to pee/shit.

I promise to NEVER talk about Sparky again.

(Unless he does something extra cute.)

(But only then.)

(I promise.)


(Only then.)



  1. Wayne,
    Post all ya’ want to about Spark-O-Barky!
    Geez, what’s more funny than dogs? Well, ok, wives are and come to think of it so are people tripping and falling down but dogs are pretty funny too.
    So there you have have it. The Sparky-O-Matic posts can continue.

  2. Dude, I like the dog. He’s cute. Post on man.

  3. Well, Ok… Since you insist…

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