You’re Kidding Me. Right?

After being married to a Norn’ Iron’ gal for the better part of 9 (or is it 10) years and after living in said Norn’ Iron’ for the better part of 3 1/2 years I like to think that I’m fairly culturally aware.

I mean, I know the slang you wee git.

I know that an egg soda isn’t something you drink.

Granted I still don’t get their fucked up half Imperial (or is it Empirical) and half metric measurements. They measure distance in miles, height in centimeters (centimetres (???)) and weight in ‘stones’. I can deal with that. People are different.

But today my fellow American and copywriter BG brought in microwave popcorn which you can obviously buy over here (Fun Fact: At the supermarket we shop at it’s next to the dog food. And by ‘next to’ I mean there’s Iams dog food on the same shelf).

My colleagues were AMAZED.

“Is this butter flavored?”

“Is it salty or sweet?” (They like to put sugar on their popcorn in the movie theaters.)

“You made this in the microwave? IN A BAG????

Now, I’ve made an effort to adjust to these foreigners. I just thought it was funny how the people I work with who think they are American Cultural Experts had never heard of Microwave Popcorn.


(Special Sparky Update: He chewed off the ear piece on my glasses last night while I was dozing in front of the Mel Gibson cheese feast “The Patriot”. I am now in constant danger of gouging out my eye (a true fear of mine- it’s why I never rub my optics while I’m in a car, whether I’m driving or not) every time I put me specs on me noggin. Also, his breath smells like cloves. Beats me why that is.)



  1. What a backwards world it is out there.

    Next thing you’ll tell me is they play their DVDs on some screwy “PAL” format!

  2. My God, Phil!!! It’s like you’re psychic or something. However, if you “borrow” an expensive remote for an hour or so you can hack most “Sorny” (wink. wink.) DVD players to play NTSC DVD’s. The way nature intended.

  3. salty popcorn is yukkie!

  4. Actually, I kinda like salty and sweet popcorn mixed together…

  5. I disagree with “bizarro Phil’s” comment, but I did try Raisenettes in popcorn once….not bad!!

  6. what the hell is an egg soda?

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