Cha-CHING!!! (My Way of Avoiding Any Talk of Virginia Tech)

I’ve been making the money “cha-ching” sound in my head all day cuz the “almighty ‘ollar” sunk to new lows today.

This is good news for me because we’re planning a quick 2 week trip back to the States this summer.

But this is bad news for you Americans standing around with “Greenbacks” in your “pockets” (I’m talking about the exchange rate- not the fact that I’ll be terrorizing my old stomping grounds (that’s right. I used the “T” word. If nobody else wants to read my blog I figure I might as well sow the seeds of suspicion for the F.B.I. (Hi guys! “Terrorism!!!” “Weapons of mass destruction!” “Paris Hilton’s tits!!!”)).

For Americans to visit the U.K. it will now cost you – in terms even Dubya can understand- $4 for a Big Mac and $7.10 (roughly) for a gallon of gas. Hahahahahaha! You poor bastards! You can’t afford anything over here. You’ve been pwned!1111!

(Wait! $7.10 for a gallon of gas??? Jesus Christ!!! Fuck you America and your bitching about $3.00 per gallon! Yes, that’s right. Fuck right off.)

Anyway, the upside to this is that the economy in the U.K. is doing pretty darn good at the moment. So well, in fact, that it turns out that the wife and I bought in a highly desirable area (translation: higher percentage of intact beer bottles thrown on lawns vs. smashed vodka bottles on sidewalks).

According the my extensive research involving noticing that the flat below us is now on sale for 140,000 pounds and remembering (vaguely) that we only paid 100k for ours less than six months ago (and we have an extra room AND a garden (which the lady downstairs doesn’t have) it seems we may have already made an imaginary profit of (and this is only an estimation) at least 50k (I’m rounding up because I’m greedy). (That’s pounds sterling (I can’t find the fucking “pound” sign on this American computer)). This means we could potentially have $100K (see how easy that was? (I’m talking about the dollar sign…oh never mind)).

This is even better news.

I figure all we have to do is wait another couple of months, sell this flat, exchange our profit for dollarinos, buy a palace on the cheap in New York because of the crashing American market, rent it to Donald Trump and retire in style.

I’ll let you know how my plan works out.

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5 Comments

  1. Right now gasoline prices here are ridiculous. I just paid $2.85 a gallon!!! I did the calculations and in the ROI they are paying about $10.73 a gallon. that would be about $150.00 to fill my cars tank.
    I just filled my motorcycles tank and it cost me almost $10.00!!!

  2. Wayne, you forgot about us rich little American bastards that can afford to go anywhere anytime. Hell, let the exchange rate climb. I’ve holdings in the London Stock exchange! 🙂

  3. Sounds vaguely familiar to the Playaz business model.

    Might I encourage you to take that $100K, invest it in a bass boat – take it out to the west coast (because bass boats are in much higher demand there), sell it for a hefty profit, invest that into Hula-Poppers (best fishing lure on the market, and also in high demand), sell those, in turn buy more bass boats, sell those, then parlay it into a Lear Jet.

    At least I am told this economic principal will work by someone I knew in high school.

  4. After reading this again, I ponder that I might have been a bit harsh. Sorry bout that dude. 🙂

  5. I have no idea what ANY of you are talking about. But maybe that’s just me…


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