We’re Winning the War One Asshole at a Time

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Nothing beats the Wednesday blues more than a bit of good news.

I know. I know… I’ve been yelled at before for making posts like this (I think I either wished Ted Haggart dead or somebody of his Fanatical Right ilk did die and I metaphorically danced upon his/her/its still warm body or something).

Anyhoo, I make no bones about the fact that I’m glad this Jesus Jerk is finally roasting slowly on the skewer he’s spent most of his life carving out of other people’s good intentions (yeah…not so sure that metaphor holds any water but what the fuck do I care. I’m a busy man).

So Jerry Falwell’s gone and if I were a more cynical man I’d say he’s getting a very warm welcome from all the dead gays, lesbians, feminists and abortionists that caused 911. But that would be cruel to wish eternal damnation on anyone.

Besides I don’t think the gays, lesbians, feminists and abortionists are in Hell. So poor Jerry’s all on his own.

Read the good news here: Jerry Bites the Dust

Now if only Oral Roberts and his brother Anal would pop their clogs.

(I’m sorry. I stole the Anal Roberts joke from dead columnist Lewis Grizzard. There’s no question he’s in Heaven.)

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8 Comments

  1. It’s so hard to keep track these days – who got with that nasty hooker back in the day? Fallwell or Swaggart?

  2. Jim Bakker, Tammy Faye’s husband. So what was the secretary / white trash ho’s name he got caught with. She was a shining example of trailer trash.

  3. Jessica Hahn, I believe.

    Also for the record Ted Haggart has “decided” he’s 100% heterosexual. I remember that somber morning when I was about 9 and decided that I too was 100% hetero. Good times.

  4. No not Bakker – there was another one. She was way nastier than Jessica Hahn (post cosmetic surgery).

  5. It was Swaggart that I was thinking of.

  6. Ah yes, Swaggart. He liked to watch her undress???? Isn’t that on par with, “I didn’t inhale”?

  7. Yea, I remember thinking Falwell was pure evil for this 9/11 remarks.

    TBH Wayne I felt the same when I heard the news. So happy in fact, I hugged my Tinky-Winky doll. 😉

    OK, maybe not doll hugging happiness… but I won’t pretend to be sad he’s gone!!

    In regards to other preacher scandals Jim Bakker not only slept with church secretary Jessica Hahn but also was caught later on with a rent boy. Ironically enough Tammy Faye went on to become a gay icon but is suffering from cancer and recently released a farewell statement.

    And why would Swaggart admit to something so ridiculous as to liking to watch her undress?!?! What a flimsy excuse!!! Have you ever seen the woman??? My ex used to get PENTHOUSE and they published a spread on the hoor. (my EYES!! my EYES!!) She was no looker let me tell you… skank city!!! No siree, for Swaggard it wasn’t about admiring a beautiful woman, it was rough trade all the way!

  8. Penelope- didn’t know about Bakker and the rent boy but I’m not surprised. i always thought he acted a bit femme.


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