There Was Something I Meant to Say…

I’m just a few days away from my trip back to the You Ess of Ayyyy!!!

This will be my first journey back to the homeland in over two years.

Jesus Christ, things have changed!

I suppose my first port of call will be the White House where I will personally put Ass-Hat Bush in a headlock until he passes out and stops trying to convince us that Iran needs a nuke-type wake up call (I’m serious Georgy-Porgy, you fuck with Iran and drag us further into another un-winnable war and I’m gonna personally track you down and bite off your balls with my own motherfucking teeth (and my teeth are really mother fuckin’ totally mother fuckingly fucking dull)).

But that’s neither here nor there.

In actual fact, I’m flying back to my old stomping grounds of Colorado. (Goddamn, I wish I was from D.C. It would have totally saved me travel expenses!)

The point is, I’m going back to my good ol’ homeland where I will buy tons of under priced shit-tastic clothing and electrical items while I pretend that the ill-informed opinions of my old friends/family who think America is Funky-Fantastic (it isn’t. I’ve seen reports otherwise) are totally valid.

This should be fun.

If I don’t post in the meantime it’s only because I’m too drunk/pissed off/astonished/angry to do otherwise.

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