I’m Sooooo Heading for a Reality Check

I know. I know.

I’m probably jinxing myself even more (Pinch! Poke! You owe me a Coke!) but sometimes the heavens just open up and down comes the most laughable, ironic email that has been sent around our little happy fun fun workplace in quite awhile. It comes from the same toss-pot that sent the email about sending potentially “offensive” shit to the other cunts in the company.

(Perhaps a bit of a backstory. YYYYYY is known throughout our company to be the biggest crybaby EVAR! (and, yes, that includes me). He’s recently been walking around the studio like a pregnant princess (he recently quit smoking and has gained at LEAST 40 pounds since then. Big fat bastard…)))
Anyway, right or wrong observe this email from the financial/fucktard director who accidentally sent this to EVERYONE IN THE COMPANY only days after warning us about sending shit that might totally fucking offend people:

XXXX and XXXXX

Looks like YYYYY is raising this old chestnut again (back pain due to shitty chairs), this time with XXXXXX. I watched YYYYYY hobble around today but am unsure whether it was genuine or just put on for me as I was in the room at the time. The chair he refers to is £110 which is about £30 more than we normally pay for chairs. We could get him this to simply shut him up and keep him productive as I can smell a sickness period coming on again (he was off for a week last week. The risk is that we open the flood gates for everyone to demand a new chair for the same reasons.)

My feeling is that we make it obvious that he is to be treated as a special circumstance (a bit like the special glasses scenario a few years ago) (I have no idea what this shit is about. “Special Glasses”??? Does YYYYY have fucking X-ray vision that the rest of us don’t know about???) ,and keep him productive.

One hour of his time is £90 so the cost of getting him a different chair is significantly less than the loss of him out on the sick again.

What are your feelings on this issue?

Oh man. I have SOOOOOO much to say about all this.

But I’ll save it for another time.

Because the shit is going to hit the fan very, very soon…

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3 Comments

  1. Hilarious.

    This reminds me of the movie “The Paper”, where this one particular reporter had a “special” chair for his back, and his colleagues were continually stealing it from him.

    I suggest you all do the same if this person ever gets it.

  2. Congratulations. Fresh start – new people – enjoy!

  3. Phil- we now call the ‘special chair’ the ‘Going Away Chair’ cuz whoever sits in it leaves. (I sat in it for 2 whole days and now look at me!).


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