WHATEVAR!!!!

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Today I’m breathing the fresh, clean air of relief (sort of).

Technically, I shoulda been footloose and fancy free as of the other day (whichever day that was).

But no.

I’ve been stressin’ like a rubber band twisted around a shitty balsa wood airplane propeller.

I’m not good at letting go. Even when ‘letting go’ means ‘quitting the biggest sumbitch bunch of ass-sucking fucktard ad agency shits in all the whole world combined…ever.’

I still wake up in the early hours thinking, ‘Jesus! They’re assholes!’

I’m still stressing about how I could make the latest XXXXXXXXX radio ad a little bit better. I worry that people will think less of me because I’m an American trying to fudge his way through the UK dialect.

I think about how to make that fat sumbitch that WAS my boss happy.

I think about how to survive.

It’s strange to think that I am now the Senior Copywriter at the biggest ad agency in Northern Ireland (Yes, fuck you JK. They’re bigger than you! (which is saying something, fatass)). They were excited to have me (but not as excited as I was to take their offer) (and they didn’t give me shit about not being ‘passionate’ (I am passionate, JK, but you stole the passion from me)).

And you, JK, said I was shit. (Again… fuck you.)

They seem cool.

They seem real.

They seem like they give a shit. (You only care about money.)

(Fingers crossed that things will be better…) (They can’t be worse.)

(Fuck you…)

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Sometimes Life Just Smiles Your Way

Married To The Sea
So I got a new job yesterday.

(Fuckin’ aye right!)

Of course the manipulative ass-cock-fucktards I USED TO WORK FOR seem to think they still own me until the end of the month.

Pretty typical of those assholes.

They think they own everyone.

Too bad they’re not as cool as they think they are. (Not a single board member talked to me yesterday. All I got was a stupid email from one of the spineless board members wishing me well and asking me to confirm their fucking weakling legal request that I don’t go to work for anyone until February. They’re afraid of something. Don’t know what. They’re just cocks. But that’s my opinion. Oh, by the way, did I mention that THEY told me to go home?)

Their words: “We reserve the right to call you back to work.”

Oh really, ass-fucks? You think I’m gonna come back after you told me to go home NOW and then come back and give you quality fucking work? Really? You really believe that??? REALLY???

Jebus! You’re dumber than that sack of shit I pissed on on my way home the other night!

And today… well, my wife just got a new kick ass job too.

We’ve always been lucky that way.

We run away….

Run to another county/state/country… but we always seem to land on our feet.

To be honest, I’m sooooo much more excited about my dear wife getting her new job than I was about me getting mine. She’s such a super talented woman and I love her more than ever. I just hope this new job gives her the same joy she gives me.

2008 might just be great.

It’s pretty fucking sweet so far.

Thank You and Goodnight… ASSHOLES

Today… well, today the world turned.

And it was good.

Oh, I’ve talked about it.  Sweated about it. Bitched about it. But never did shit about it.

Until yesterday.

I went for an interview.

Today. The job is mine.

I have danced a ridiculous dance of a retarded nature at various intervals all day to celebrate.

I have NEVER been this happy to quit a job in my ENTIRE life.

The best part? They told me to go home and not come back and that they would pay my full salary for the rest of the month!

3 week vacation fully paid! And that doesn’t take into account the 4 weeks I get at my new job!

Life is good.

My old job is bad.

Fuck em!

(And to the management that didn’t have the fucking balls to say ‘goodbye’ to me in person: Well fuck you too. You fucking cowards. That is all.)

Merry Whatever and Happy New This and That…

WHA????!!!

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Holy shit!!!

It’s snowing in Belfast!!!

WTF????

I keep trying to run away but y’all keep bringin’ me back!

Yes. I took away this shit-tacular blog for a day.

Why?

Cuz I thought I’d get in trouble or some such shit.

But Fuck Em!!!!

The email I posted (yesterday?) is 100% true. The company I work for is 100% full of assholes. The reason I’m going fucking insane is 100% the fault of the fucktards I work for.

Little lesson people: If your job blows and sucks at the same time, for god’s sake just GO. Seriously. Leave. Never look back. And though you’d like to tell the fat, overweight, wife/girlfriend cheating-ass-sucking-piece-of-shit-cock-licking-blowhard that you hate with every single ounce of your being that you want to kill/maim/cripple everyone one of their immediate family… DON’T DO IT!

Just leave.

That’s what I plan to do.

In the meantime the fuckers still pay my wages.

GOD I HATE THEM!!!!!!!!