Sometimes Life Just Smiles Your Way

Married To The Sea
So I got a new job yesterday.

(Fuckin’ aye right!)

Of course the manipulative ass-cock-fucktards I USED TO WORK FOR seem to think they still own me until the end of the month.

Pretty typical of those assholes.

They think they own everyone.

Too bad they’re not as cool as they think they are. (Not a single board member talked to me yesterday. All I got was a stupid email from one of the spineless board members wishing me well and asking me to confirm their fucking weakling legal request that I don’t go to work for anyone until February. They’re afraid of something. Don’t know what. They’re just cocks. But that’s my opinion. Oh, by the way, did I mention that THEY told me to go home?)

Their words: “We reserve the right to call you back to work.”

Oh really, ass-fucks? You think I’m gonna come back after you told me to go home NOW and then come back and give you quality fucking work? Really? You really believe that??? REALLY???

Jebus! You’re dumber than that sack of shit I pissed on on my way home the other night!

And today… well, my wife just got a new kick ass job too.

We’ve always been lucky that way.

We run away….

Run to another county/state/country… but we always seem to land on our feet.

To be honest, I’m sooooo much more excited about my dear wife getting her new job than I was about me getting mine. She’s such a super talented woman and I love her more than ever. I just hope this new job gives her the same joy she gives me.

2008 might just be great.

It’s pretty fucking sweet so far.

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Thank You and Goodnight… ASSHOLES

Today… well, today the world turned.

And it was good.

Oh, I’ve talked about it.  Sweated about it. Bitched about it. But never did shit about it.

Until yesterday.

I went for an interview.

Today. The job is mine.

I have danced a ridiculous dance of a retarded nature at various intervals all day to celebrate.

I have NEVER been this happy to quit a job in my ENTIRE life.

The best part? They told me to go home and not come back and that they would pay my full salary for the rest of the month!

3 week vacation fully paid! And that doesn’t take into account the 4 weeks I get at my new job!

Life is good.

My old job is bad.

Fuck em!

(And to the management that didn’t have the fucking balls to say ‘goodbye’ to me in person: Well fuck you too. You fucking cowards. That is all.)

Merry Whatever and Happy New This and That…

WHA????!!!

snowy-belfast-005.jpg

Holy shit!!!

It’s snowing in Belfast!!!

WTF????

I keep trying to run away but y’all keep bringin’ me back!

Yes. I took away this shit-tacular blog for a day.

Why?

Cuz I thought I’d get in trouble or some such shit.

But Fuck Em!!!!

The email I posted (yesterday?) is 100% true. The company I work for is 100% full of assholes. The reason I’m going fucking insane is 100% the fault of the fucktards I work for.

Little lesson people: If your job blows and sucks at the same time, for god’s sake just GO. Seriously. Leave. Never look back. And though you’d like to tell the fat, overweight, wife/girlfriend cheating-ass-sucking-piece-of-shit-cock-licking-blowhard that you hate with every single ounce of your being that you want to kill/maim/cripple everyone one of their immediate family… DON’T DO IT!

Just leave.

That’s what I plan to do.

In the meantime the fuckers still pay my wages.

GOD I HATE THEM!!!!!!!!

I’m Sooooo Heading for a Reality Check

I know. I know.

I’m probably jinxing myself even more (Pinch! Poke! You owe me a Coke!) but sometimes the heavens just open up and down comes the most laughable, ironic email that has been sent around our little happy fun fun workplace in quite awhile. It comes from the same toss-pot that sent the email about sending potentially “offensive” shit to the other cunts in the company.

(Perhaps a bit of a backstory. YYYYYY is known throughout our company to be the biggest crybaby EVAR! (and, yes, that includes me). He’s recently been walking around the studio like a pregnant princess (he recently quit smoking and has gained at LEAST 40 pounds since then. Big fat bastard…)))
Anyway, right or wrong observe this email from the financial/fucktard director who accidentally sent this to EVERYONE IN THE COMPANY only days after warning us about sending shit that might totally fucking offend people:

XXXX and XXXXX

Looks like YYYYY is raising this old chestnut again (back pain due to shitty chairs), this time with XXXXXX. I watched YYYYYY hobble around today but am unsure whether it was genuine or just put on for me as I was in the room at the time. The chair he refers to is £110 which is about £30 more than we normally pay for chairs. We could get him this to simply shut him up and keep him productive as I can smell a sickness period coming on again (he was off for a week last week. The risk is that we open the flood gates for everyone to demand a new chair for the same reasons.)

My feeling is that we make it obvious that he is to be treated as a special circumstance (a bit like the special glasses scenario a few years ago) (I have no idea what this shit is about. “Special Glasses”??? Does YYYYY have fucking X-ray vision that the rest of us don’t know about???) ,and keep him productive.

One hour of his time is £90 so the cost of getting him a different chair is significantly less than the loss of him out on the sick again.

What are your feelings on this issue?

Oh man. I have SOOOOOO much to say about all this.

But I’ll save it for another time.

Because the shit is going to hit the fan very, very soon…

I’m Not Sick, I’m Sincere…

I’ve been off “work” since last Friday.

If I’m honest with myself, I’d have to say I’ve been off work since the day I started.

I FUCKING HATE ADVERTISING!

(I didn’t say that out loud. My boss might be listening.)

Anyway stress, or lack of mental capability or whatever you want to call it, finally crippled me. I’ve had a cough (a “deep something-or-the-other chest-al type infection” which has gripped and shook and strangled me) that only a strong anti-biotical-type drug thingy will cure. I’m taking it now. It’s tasteless. It’s a capsule… It seems to be working…

I’ve made a list of the things I’m going to/have accomplish/ed whilst I’m out.

This is the list so far:

Read:

“Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?” by Philip K. Dick. (Done. Got at least 5 other books now to read before Christmas. My will shall be done…)

Watch(ed):

“It’s a Wonderful Life.” (done)

“Elf” (also done)

“Match Point” (Woody Allen) (done again)

“Spiderman III” (oh yeah, done)

“Life of Brian” (fell asleep… like I always do. Why is that?) (still…done)

This is it, folks. (Not really. Got tons of other movies and books to see/read. Not a chance I’ll be bored.)

I’m a boring S.O.B.

A sick S.O.B. but an S.O.B. nonetheless.

I’m gonna listen to my iPod and sleep now, even though it’s only 2 in the afternoon.

Take care, peeps.

Happy/Merry Christmas…