We (I) Are (Am) the Champions!(Champion!)

After almost two years of grueling copy writing (any copy writer will tell you what that’s all about. I mean, shit! It grueling!) I was finally rewarded with 3 individual Northern Ireland Advertising Awards ranging from Bronze to Gold.

That in itself was pretty cool but that didn’t take into account that I had my hand in every single one of our 11 wins.

This means I rock.

Unfortunately, I am also a dumb ass.

You see, I have a problem with public nudity, in that whenever I have a few belts under my belt (especially when I’m wearing a rented tux) I like to strut my completely disgusting stuff (lordy, why does my wife love me?) in a very public forum. In fact, I once (perhaps twice, or even thrice) walked home along the Pearl Street Mall in Boulder, Colorado completely and utterly naked, nekkid, free ballin’, nude.

That’s just the type o’ guy I am.

Anyway, last night (for reasons I won’t go into at the moment) the act of “Extreme Ironing” came up and I volunteered to take my shirt off in front of 400 people and pretend to iron it in front of them.

I have never ironed a shirt so I’m thinking that maybe that’s why everybody was laughing the way they were because my technique was so pedestrian and not chuckling at the Bear Skin rug I wear on my chest.

The moral of the story is: even though I got home at 5 this morning and went back to work at 9 I’m still dumb/young/retarded enough to vent out some steam now and again and still suffer UNIMAGINABLE HANGOVERS.

(But luckily I didn’t drop trou and wag my willy in front of a crowd of strangers like somebody I could mention. (Oh, and yes. There are pics. I shall publish them tomorrow. (Geez, I’m a dumb ass. (But the pics are still better than the video someone captured. (I’m going to hell)))))))))))))) (You get the gag)))).

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9 Comments

  1. Congratulations!

  2. Too cool on the awards. Congrats!

  3. Go you! 🙂

  4. I’m glad somebody has awarded you with something – finally!

    And good job keeping the pants on.

  5. Great job on the awards….now come do my ironing.

  6. Congrats Wayne!

  7. Thanks everyone. Long time readers know how much I needed a win.

  8. Congratulations my friend on your copy writing accolades! Well deserved I say.

    As to the other…WAYNE! Who knew you were the free ballin’, willie in the wind, show EVERYBODY your Mr. Wiggy kind ‘o guy! I’ll bet your wife has kicked your entire arse a time or two…but like me…she’s determined that you are what you are, and you have to determine which of a man’s damns are a “divorceable ” offense, and which damns can be closeted with the same damns us dames also possess of our own.

    It’s those “belts under the belt” that do us in. Sobriety leads to no nudeness, but damn, sobriety is just TOO BORING…minus the HANGOVERS…

    Keep on being the “Wayne The ORDINARY American” in the UK. Things here no longer allow “normalcy” or “abnormalcy” in the humorous sense and we’ve become far to politically correct.

    Too funny, glad you are a winner…it’s SO MUCH fun to win!

  9. Congrats dude, you see? Just when you think everything is going shit, you go and win a shed-load of awards. Go figure.


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